Hey everyone,

How are you all? Hopefully better than I am.. things are so crazy around here, and I'm at the point where I'm going to snap and hit someone.... HARD.

So I get a letter in the mail from NCC's financial aid office and I said to myself "It should be them telling me that I got aid for the next 2 semesters.." well, was I wrong or what? It was one of those letters that tells you "nope.. the state has money, but we won't give it to you.." all because I wsa 2 credits short of the state requirement of 24... TWO CREDITS!! So I was upset, and crying to my mom on the phone that I won't be able to go to school for the year because there isn't money for me... so in the end, I'll still be going, but we have to take out a student loan to pay for it, and I had to drop 2 out of my 4 classes so we could afford the tuition, plus the books. yeah... so I'll be going part time, which means I won't be covered under my dad's insurance policy, and I will be looking for a couple of jobs to help my parents pay for the tuition costs. I don't want my parents stuck with a loan that is because of me... they have to worry about getting my sister's plane ticket to England, which is super expensive.. I just hope we can get a loan, or I won't be going to school at all.

Last night I was really sick with a migraine, so I was in bed at like 7... and I kinda woke up at 11-11:30, so I signed on AIM and talked to Eddie for like 15 minutes before I got so frustrated with him, that I had to just turn off the computer and not say a word to him.. He e-mails me all the time to catch up if we don't talk for a while, and last night was the first time I talked to him for about a month... and I asked him how his dating situation was, because I am one of his close friends, and we still care about each other.. but he tells me he's dating 2 girls at the same time, and he's working on a third. The conversation went like this:

Me: "3 girls? wow.. you just need to be careful with that..."

Eddie: "Why? I use a condom EVERYTIME"

Me: "I wasn't talking about that.. lol.. just that you need to be careful that you aren't messing with their feelings..."

Eddie: "Let me tell you something darling, out here no one cares about feelings.. it's all about what they want.."

Me: "Look... I'm not trying to be your mother on this.. I'm just telling you to be careful that's all.. maybe I'm just stupid, but I care about people's feelings.. and I would care if I were having sex with 3 girls at once.. don't you cae about that?"

Eddie: "Like I said, they obviously don't care about feelings, because I sure as hell don't.."

So I signed off after that... it just makes me so mad that he would do that to people.. he was never like that when I was with him and I sure as hell don't know where he got it from, but I don't like that side of him... and I don't plan on talking to him for a bit, because I'm still disgusted with him about it.

Anyways, yesterday Ronald Regan passed away.. I was really sad, and I still am.. while I really don't remember him as a president because I wasn't born when he took office, (I was born in 1985.) and I don't remember him being president at all, from what my parents have told me, he was one of the greatest presidents we as a nation have ever had, and I'm sad that I wasn't around to see that.. god bless him and his wife Nancy, who stuck by him for 52 years, when he was going through Alzheimer's disease.

Love Always,

Ashley.

love || forever