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» I'm Ashley. I'm 19 and I live in Bethlehem, PA. I am in college, going into nursing. I am single... *wink wink* lol
»loves: to be in love, cats, sheep, my family, my friends, babies and almost everything pink.. oh and I LOVE things medical.
»hates: Liars, cheaters, people who think they are better than you.. clowns, sharks, biggots and racists.
confused again.. what else is new? lol
11:24 a.m. || 2003-12-15
Hey guys!
How are you all??? Good I hope.. I'm okay.. I'm having 2 successfully bad days.. ha ha ha.. I'll explain it farther down!
Okay.. so I was on my SN last night, and who decides to IM me? Eddie.. I hadn't prepared myself for that.. I'm still really sensitive to the subject of him... but he sent me a picture of him with all of these other guys.. and he decides to tell me about how he's sleeping with like 5 girls now.. and that kills me... I don't deserve that shit.. I can't take it anymore.. all I did when he told me that was cry... and then I took it out on Nick, which is something that I never wanted to happen...
Nick acted distant towards me, but maybe that's just because I've been having a really bad start to the week.. lol. We barely talked to each other last night, and I'm afraid that if I don't see him sometime soon, that we will grow apart and never speak to each other again, and that is one of the most awful things I can imagine... I'm afraid to tell him how I really feel about him moving back to New York and out of Pennsylvania... on one hand, i'm happy for him, because I love him that much to let him go and graduate and then go to Law School... but on the other, I'm afraid that if he does this, I'll never see him again, and that is the thought that scares me to death.. I dont' know what to do.. if I tell him how I really feel, he'll be miserable here with me, but if he goes up there, i'll be miserable without him.. it's a catch 22, and I'm confused!
Love Always,
Ashley
XOXOXOXO